There are several reasons people pretend theyíre not the leader. One reason is a simple mistake. The mistake is that they think itís mean to tell people what to do, and they want to be nice. They think that being bossy isnít nice, or having power over people isnít nice. But thatís silly! Of course itís oppressive to be someoneís leader if you give them no choiceóif you force them to have you as a leaderóbut a lot of the time people want someone to be their leader, especially if theyíve joined your group.
So in exactly the same way that the rules of a game arenít oppressive but let you play the game and are where the fun of the game lies, leadership can be useful. Itís what lets you do things. And itís not cruel.